Some of us are on a journey of recovery

I am trusting God to bring me though

For some of us csa is like a disability - permanent damage
for other reparable damage

I find it useful to see csa as a disability
because disability support is a helpfull model

to focus on what we can do

to accept what we can't do eg it affect my memory as a student.
    I am finding I can remember more

recognition of csa as a disability recognises our limits
and if others take this into account
reduces unrealistic pressure to achieve we we may be unable to .

the model opens up exploring or developing "physiotherapy"
such as taking small steps at normal relationships
learning to set boundaries and levels of trust

developing work skills

The damage and destruction csa left behind

        The purpose of this page is not to list some POSSiBLE effects of csa to identify what we wewre feeling already. The impact will depend on many factors such as:
the age of csa
weather it was violation of our will  by an overpowering adult or seduction by pees
weather the abuser was male or female
weather it involved incest - direct or "remote"  ie friend or relative of a parent
weather immediate assistance was available
how long before we could disclose the abuse to someone who took us seriously
many other factors.

          When I processed csa (rape) I wanted to know as much as I could. As I read other survivor stories
and posts in forums I saw key words I googled and found I often related to them. I have listed those I recall below in case readers relate to any of them. Some might be irrelevant. Some might be counter productive - ignore them.  If you relate then search out the matter and look up where to get help.

           Basically,  as survivors we have lived in a world where we felt no one understood us.
           I found it helpful to identify what I am struggling with.   Some may not

• trauma
• disassociation
• disconection
• a tendancy to isolate
• addictive behaviours
• efforts to deaden the pain
  
• ways in which we were/are trigered
• our level of understanding or confusion
• neurological - if csa occured in infantcy and interferred with neurological development
• associations formed in our mind
• conclusions made
• denial and overcomming denial in our adult years
• weather the little child was traped in unprocessed trauma (child within)
• possable impact on eye focus - mine became irregular - my eye doctor suggested a neurosis
  
• dental work can set off painfull memories  eg I spontaneously swallowed
• a colonospcy observed scaring